Self Control

I have been "exercising" my self-control the last couple of weeks. What exactly do I mean? Well, I have been trying to not eat everything I see. As many of you know, I LOVE to eat... in fact, to some of my dear friends out there (namely, Em), we could say that our friendship is primarily based on our mutual love of food. Well, I had been noticing that despite my new dedication to exercising, my pants have still been getting tighter. That combined with the fact that my daughter is constantly reminding me how big I am... (see "fat devil"... also just the other day, she saw a dress in my closet that I wore to my sister's wedding a couple of years ago and she asked, "Mom, did you use to be tall and skinny, or were you always like you are? Because this dress is tall and skinny." Dave, who was present, wisely chose to ignore the question). Anyway, despite L's opinion, I really don't think I am fat, but still... I have noticed that when ever I would work out, I would use that as an excuse to eat more of my favorite things... hence the tightening of the jeans. So... I have been exercising self control. I promised I would do this for 2 weeks. I haven't totally got there, but I'm just a day and a half away.

It hasn't been an easy 2 weeks, but if I with stand the temptations I have, then I think I can do anything! Let me tell you what I have had to pass up:

Day 1: Nothing really... just hard to get use to not popping everything in my mouth as I was feeding my kids. We had a picnic with my sisters where there was... CHEETOS! I know not everyone thinks these are great, but i just love them (I can easily eat a bag on my own. My mom use to never buy them when I was little. I thought it was because she didn't like them. It wasn't until I was grown that she told me she didn't buy them because she couldn't stop herself once she started. Maybe it's hereditary).

Day 2: We had enrichment night and it was all about chocolate. We played a little get-to-know-you game (it was like speed dating) then we dined on chocolate... chocolate fondue, chocolate cake, brownies, chocolate cookies.... I forgot that I had even signed up to bring some mint chocolate oreo truffles (which, if you haven't had them, they are TO DIE FOR). I resisted them all. I just had 2 strawberries from the fondue table... with no chocolate.

Day 3: Girl Scout Cookies. My neighbor is a girl scout, and we love those dang cookies. When she brought her order form around, Dave ordered 6 boxes (which I wholeheartedly supported): 4 Thin Mints and 2 Tagalong 's. I have only eaten 3 thin mints... and not all at once. It has been over several days.

Day 4: We had planned a big dinner date with all my siblings. We went out for Mexican... once again... my favorite!!! I love it all, but my favorite part of going out for Mexican are fresh hot chips while you are waiting for your food. I can usually put away 3-4 bowls by myself easily. I have usually eaten so many chips that by the time my food comes, I'm not that hungry so my most of my entree comes home with me for lunch the next day (which I love!). However, I cooked my own tortilla's (the one's from Costco, which, if you haven't tried, you are missing out!) and was resolved to just eat those. I did good, but let me tell you... Ahh!!! They were running slow that night. It was a small resturaunt that rarely has a crowd. It was the busiest we had ever seen it and the owner's husband was gone, so she was cooking solo. As a result, we waited for an hour for our food so those hot tasty chips just kept coming and coming. I also only ordered a taco salad, but didn't eat the shell... well, I did crumble a little bit in. Also, I didn't eat the whole salad (that's another thing I'm working on... stop eating when I am no longer hungry... not just when I am so full I can barely move. This is a tough concept for me).

Day 5: Sunday dinner... need I say more? Again, I just tried stop eating when I wasn't hungry anymore and not eat dessert. What!?! Me?!? Not eat dessert!?!

Day 8: I was visiting on of the ward's in our stake's New Beginnings. They served cheesecake.

Day 10: I was invited to an old friend's house for lunch. She invited a few of us over from HS/Jr. High. She had all sorts of delicious looking chocolate chip cooks, chocolate cookies with a marshmello cream over them, and apple/snicker's salad. Now, I have to admit, I have never had apple/snicker's salad. But, there are snickers, and cool whip. How could it go wrong?

later that same day: It was my brother-in-law's surprise bday party. Luckily, the main dish was sub sandwiches w/o mayo, so I was safe, but still, I did have to pass on some pretty tasty side dishes.

Day 11: My sister threw a bridal shower for her sister in law. Jill and I went over to help set up. There were all sorts of delicous salads and some of the best looking chicken salad I have seen in a while. Also, I made mint chocolate truffles again. I even took it a step farther by using ande's mints in the chocolate coating. I was told by my sis-in-law that they were my best batch to date. I had to take her word for it. Unfortunately, there were some left over and so some are still sitting in my fridge... be strong... be strong...

Also, before I even went to the shower, Dave went to go and get his hair cut, which is right by Higley Hot Dogs. He brought me home one. Now, I LOVE good hot dogs. The ones I buy and feed my kids don't count. But a good hot dog? Especially the BBQed ones? He ended up giving it to CK who didn't appreciate it because it had "stuff" on it and so he said it ended up in the trash because no one ate it. Ouch. That still hurts.

Finally, we went out that night. PF Changs. I kept it under control and only ate small portions. It is right by Krispy Kreme. Jill and I have a standing agreement that if either of us are ever there, we pick up a dozen for the other. Dave decided that if we were getting her some, we had better get us some as well. I still maintain that if I ever really wanted to, I could eat a whole dozen by myself. Especially the "hot and fresh" ones. It makes my mouth water just to think about it. And the ice glazed kreme filled? whoa.

Day 12: In addition to still trying resist the box of doughuts on my counter, and not eating even a lick of the kreme filling when I cut one in half for the kids, it was neice's blessing. We had picnic at the park for dinner. The hard part was the desserts... mini cheesecake cups, rice krispy treats, chocolate rice krispy treats, pretzel salad (which is actually a jello salad with a creme cheese filling).

So, here we are at Day 13. So far, nothing has tempted me, but the day is still early (and I still know where to find those left over mint truffles, and the girl scout cookies, not to mention all those PF Chang's leftovers). Luckily, I am staying close to home, and we aren't going anywhere, so I think I'll be ok. After tomorrow, I won't be as strict with myself. My goal is to allow myself the indulgences, but keeping in mind that I don't have to eat it all. Again, this is a tough concept for me. I really can't say that I have noticed a change in the way my clothes fit me, but hopefully, I have taught myself enough self control over the last couple of weeks that when I am not longer really "discipling" myself, I will still know when to stop and all my exercising will be able to have the desired effect! Who knows... maybe even L will no longer see me as some sort of giant beached whale! Well... maybe that's pushing it. I guess so long as she sees herself in a positive way, she's allowed to see me however she wants!